Wine is the world’s oldest and fanciest alcoholic beverage. It’s created by fermenting grape juice and is enjoyed worldwide – in bottle, box and jug form, depending on the level of classiness users would like to project.
So-called oenephiles, stumblebums, moms of toddlers, residents of Fairfield and Sonoma counties in Connecticut and California respectively, priests, writers and former prom queens all enjoy drinking what they often refer to (with varying degrees of irony) as the “nectar of the gods” in higher amounts than the general population.
These groups are also seen by scientists and sociologists as having higher-than-average levels of depression and anxiety and lower-than-average levels of intelligence and almost none of the “coping skills” the rest of the population naturally possess.
Therapists are standing by as researchers unfurl their latest global warming doom-and-gloom to your way of life pronouncement: certain parts of the world are well on their way to becoming too hot to produce wine.
A report focusing on the U.K. predicts that areas currently used to produce wine will soon be suitable for producing delicacies (like raisins, aka the fruit that failed!) usually reserved for the hot climes of North Africa and the Middle East.
