I don’t think anyone’s surprised that Spitzer cheated. Or that he fucked a hooker and tried to do so sans a penis shield. Or that he spent $80,000 cheating with the ho (or hoes).
Geh!
Also predictable: a flurry of editorials blabbing about how human beings, swans and pretty much every other form of life once thought to be capable of monogamy are not b/c science proves it!!
After all, self-control and genuine emotion is for losers!!1! Or wormz
One especially hilarious extended soliloquy in The Los Angeles Times (link above) was titled “Want a man, or a worm?” David P. Barash, an evolutionary biologist (natch) argues that the only living beings capable of self-control are a particular brand of parasitic worm:
“One species that is, and, significantly, perhaps the only one that could be reliably designated as such [monogamous that is], is Diplozöon paradoxum, a parasitic worm that inhabits the intestines of fish. Among these animals, male and female pair up while adolescents; their bodies literally fuse together, whereupon they remain sexually faithful until death does not them part.
One of the most important insights of modern evolutionary biology has been an enhanced understanding of male-female differences, deriving especially from the production of sperm versus eggs. Because sperm are produced in vast numbers, with little if any required parental follow-through, males of most species are aggressive sexual adventurers, inclined to engage in sex with multiple partners when they can. Males who succeed in doing so leave more descendants.”
When you find yourself making the same tired excuses (except worse and less intelligent) that walking greased up brainfart Ethan Hawke made when caught cheating on brainy studette Uma Thurman (and their two kids) it’s time to go back to the drawing board and reconsider your “important insights.”
